


Revisting Exile

by AaronRoman



Series: Miscellaneous Shots [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt/No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:08:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29441661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AaronRoman/pseuds/AaronRoman
Summary: Prompt: What if one day... there was no Tommy at all? Like no one knew who he was
Series: Miscellaneous Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162613
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Revisting Exile

"Hey Tubbo? I'm going to be out for the day. I need to go do something," For once, Tommy isn't bursting with energy. He's been getting tired recently. A lot more tired. He couldn't think why. He had Tubbo, he's got his hotel, he has Sam- 

Well- Actually he knew why.

No one showed up to the hotel opening. Or at least- showed up to the hotel opening with the intent to participate. He didn't have his hotel anymore. Bursted into flames opening day by that Eggpire. Yeah, no. He definitely knew why he was feeling really shitty recently. 

"Oh where are you going? Oh! Let's go to Snowchester afterwards! I want to build up some decortati-"

"You go ahead Tubbzo and I uh- I'm going to Pogtopia, I want to see if there's anything useful I can use to repair the hotel," It was a lie. Not an obvious one but Tubbo seemed to catch it with a lift of an eyebrow. Tommy sighs dramatically and shoves his hands into his pockets,"I'm going back to Exile. Gonna collect some of the wood over there for the hotel,"

It wasn't for the hotel but Tubbo seemed to buy it. The smaller boy smiles a sad smile and hugs Tommy tightly, telling him to be safe. Usually Tommy would bitch about being touched but he wraps a tight arm around Tubbo and laughs a bit, not agreeing with staying safe. "Goodbye Tubbo," And he starts walking off. 

The voices in his head came back a bit louder than usual. They were off though, something wasn't right about it. Like they were being forced by something else. Tommy just fidgets with the string of his new hoodie (Sam gifted it for the opening of the hotel) He sorta liked it (he loved it). 

It's his colors. Red and white. The trek through the nether wasn’t all the eventful. A piglin here and there, terrified yelling as a magma cube comes right for him. He’s running down an unfortunately familiar path and is taking the last few steps before looking up. He's in front of the portal and he stares at it. 

Why was everyone telling him to run?

He ignores them, in all his stubborn glory, and walks through. 

Once he's on solid ground again, he wants to puke. The voices hit him all at once and he hates it. They weren't even his. He can tell. These weren't  _ his,  _ it wasn't his chat talking. This was a singular entity talking, repeating again and again.

The world around him was shattered. Craters from the holes that Dream left behind. It took everything in him not to trip down one of the holes. Swaying a bit harder to one side to stop himself from tripping down. He wouldn't know how long he would be laying in there and didn't want to find out. 

He goes to the beach side where his failed party was. He wanted to go somewhere higher but if he had to puke, at least the sea would clear away his sickness. The tired hero sits there for a little while holding his head. This was not how he predicted the visit to Exile would be. 

What did he even expect? é̷̏ơ̸̋m̷͊͒h̶̖͝ 

What?

The voices seemed to sync on that one word and he didn't even fucking catch it. He grimaces as it goes back to incoherent jumbling from a few moments. He takes deep breaths and exhales a few times, seeing if trying to calm himself down with help.

Sam taught him how to do this. Breathing to help relax his body and stuff. It was annoying at first but after Sam witnessed a panic attack that one time- he made it his job to make sure Tommy knew how to handle one till someone found or helped him. Or maybe Tommy made it his job- Did Sam even care or was it just the contract? The thoughts only worsened. 

It takes a bit of time, a bit of effort, but eventually. He gets there. The voices die down and he almost feels alone on the beach, the waves almost licking the heels of his feet. 

?̷̛͆e̸̽͒r̷͛͝ë̴́͝h̷̓̓ ̷̏̆ŏ̵̃u̴̾̀y̷͛̿ ̷͐͠e̷̍r̶̅̅a̵͆͘ ̴̊͗ŷ̷h̵̊͝w̵̢

He laughs. Just a bit,"I just wanted to disappear for a bit," He didn't like this specific voice. It was the one who hurt Tubbo's feelings, the one who made Sam eat himself, the one who-... He didn't quite remember the next part. A fuzzy feeling going through his head,"Are you messing with my head, you overgrown weed?" He waits for a response. Watching the clouds glide by in the sky and the sun inching slowly to the sky. He never liked the silence so he sits up and takes out his portable jukebox, placing it down at his side and starts to go through his enderchest. Looking through his discs. He stares for a bit.

Why was he important to this story? e̴͓̍r̷̺͛ẽ̸͝h̴̾̓ ̷̛͑e̴̝̓b̵͛͑ ̴̈́t̴̋͝'̴͊̈́n̶̊̄d̶̅̚l̶͑̿ṷ̶̍o̸̮̐h̴̆̇s̶ ̶͐͗o̵͒̇ǔ̴̈ý̴̂ ̶͈̓ He shouldn't be here.

He closes his chest and stands up. He stares at the iridescent surface of the enderchest. The colors shifted ever so slightly as his body swayed a bit with the wind.

Tommy thought he was over this phase. This phase of not being okay. Of believing he didn't deserve to live. His eye twitches as his temple stings and he brings a hand to his face, his eye welling with tears as the stupid egg starts talking again. 

A main voice that echoed in the crater ridden land,"That's not true," Tommy argued weakly. He swallows hard and closes his eyes,"It's not true!" He yells into his past residence. Tommy grip his jacket tighter around him, as if it'll provide more comfort  like Sam . "I am real. I am a person. I deserve to walk like every other motherfucker. Besides Dream. Cause fuck Dream! You probably work with the grinch cousin right?" A hysterical laugh bubbles up,"I deserve to live like everyone else," 

m̵̐ẻ̴͆a̴̓̂ȑ̶̦d̸̅ ̸̎̿e̷̓͝ḱ̴͘ǐ̶̇l̵͛̚ ̷̌̑ẽ̷̍r̷̃̕'̷͒̾ù̶̲õ̷͊y̴̚͝ ̵̕t̶͗͂ǘ̸̏b̷͌

"Fuck off! Fuck you man. Woman. Whatever the fuck you are! I didn't choose to be here. Didn't choose to be a hero. Didn't-" He claps a hand over his mouth before he finished that statement. No. That would just defeat the entire conversation. He looks to the water, trying to relieve the tension in his chest. The pressure building up on his chest, it was getting harder to breath,"...What do you even know?" he mumbles as he wipes his eyes,"You're just a stupid egg bullying a child," 

e̶͒͠c̴̓͋a̶̚e̶͛̒p̵̎̍ ̸̏̈́t̶̿ͅȁ̵̛ ̷̈́͂e̵͂̌b̶͒̄ ̵̿͐l̵̅̆ḻ̶̽i̵͂̊w̵͐͂ ̴̂͝u̷͎͒o̷̐̓y̶̾̈́

Peace? Was that what he wanted? He remembers standing above the lava in the nether. How much he wanted to end it there, his chest feeling just as heavy when he stood near the edge. As Dream pushed him aside and added a few blocks to the side of the bridge.

He remembers standing on the tower nearby. How good it felt to be up in the sky, looking down upon the world. It was so peaceful,"If I let go now, that would be it? Nothing more, nothing less?" He voice soft again. Maybe he shouldn't be making this choice. He could run back to Tubbo right now. He could tell him everything. Everything Dream did to him. What's been going on with his fucked mind. How he feels. Show that he was just a kid. 

But the idea of putting that pressure? That information? Onto Tubbo of people- It was cruel. Tubbo had his own trauma. He's died twice also- Fighting for a country. Whether he believed in it or not, Tommy couldn't say. He could never give this burden to another willingly. He knew what the weight of the world felt, he couldn't just give it to another for selfish release. 

Tommy makes a decision. But he needs a book and quill first. He shudders as his choice alleviates a bit of the weight on his chest. Good. It was a good start. He's out for a majority of the day. Gathering the resources needed. Finding animals were as hard to come by as he remembered. He ventured far from Exile's boundaries. First gathering wood for a crafting bench. Then he finds a bit of sugar cane for paper. Enjoying the quietness that his task has given him. Then he finds a few cows, gathering the leather needed. Finding a chicken was pretty hard, it took most of the time. Once he has everything needed, he creates a book and quill and starts to write. 

He writes all he's ever wanted. All the memories he wished he could share with others. The good, the bad, even the mundane. He wanted to put it all there. Wanting to leave the barest mark on the world. A few pages are smudged with tears that fell. He writes letters to each and everyone one of the people in his world. Some longer than others. Thanking Tubbo for his love, to Sam for his support, to Ranboo for his friendship, to Techno for hospitality, to Will for being a brother, to Phil for teaching him how to say goodbye.

Telling Dream to fuck off, drawing a big smile with “ _ You fucked up,”  _ underneath _. _

He almost reaches the end of his book when he's done telling all he wanted. Well- the important stuff. The stuff he wanted people to remember. He only had a few pages left and it took him a bit to think of what to write. He lets the pen move for a bit- A warning spelling out to those who trusted Dream would eventually fall. 

A general thank you for remembering him. He has a page left. He sketches a small picture of him with tubbo, sitting under the tree with a music box next to them. He flips back to the front of the book, staring at the title that asks to be signed. He writes in 

**_Tales of Tommyinnit_ **

He closes the book and carries it back to the sea. It was late afternoon, almost becoming dusk. The whispering was back, be he favored to ignore it for a bit. He creates a chest with some of the wood he collected, then starts to go back to L'Manberg. He refused to fade into history where Dream wanted him to. He was being petty till his dying breath. He walks through the nether portal one more, destroying it once he is on the other side. Taking three blocks of obsidian from it's side and tossing it over the edge. He clutches the book to his chest and walks slowly home. 

He'll be at peace. Soon. 

Tommy felt a bit sad that he wouldn't tell Tubbo a proper goodbye. Maybe he'll understand. Maybe he won't. Tommy really didn't know, but he didn't want Tubbo to convince him to stay. He didn't belong here. He wasn't supposed to make it this far. This wasn't his story. He wasn't supposed to be standing on the ground with everyone. He should have been 6ft under with Wilbur and Schlatt. 

He was just like Dream. He didn't deserve to roam free. 

He passes a few people on his way home. Giving them waves and half-assed smiles. Little did they know, they wouldn't even remember ever meeting a Tommyinnit.

He makes it home and sets the chest out, shoving all the stuff from his ender chest into it. He sets the book on top of the chest and takes a step back, with a small smile.

Tommy hears Tubbo coming in. Tubbo was shouting a welcome back as he rushed down the steps, gleeful news on the tip of his tongue. Tubbo looks at Tommy- suddenly very aware of everything about Tommy. "Tommy-? Are you alright? Your eyes- they're-" 

"Tubbo! Is Tommy down there?" Tommy approaches Tubbo as his head turns to respond. He holds tightly onto Tubbo and smiles into his shoulder. One selfish wish did come true then-"Tubbo. I don't think I was meant to be," he whispers, ignoring Tubbo as he asks what was wrong. When Ranboo comes down stairs to check on him, he finds the teen on his knees with his arms open. He kneels next to Tubbo and finds the boy with silent tears rushing down his face,"Tubbo? What's the matter? Why are you crying?" 

"You shouldn't be here..." Tubbo stutters out, his arms slowly wrapping around himself. Why did he feel so empty? He was just excited a minute ago. He came rushing down the stairs for a reason. But what was the reason? Why couldn't he remember why. 

"Why are you here?" 

"I don't know," 

"Do you want me to tell the others you got sick and couldn't make it?" Tubbo stares at the floor in front of him before nodding slowly. Ranboo gently pats his back, unsure how the boy felt, promising to come back and leaves in long strides. 

Tubbo gets back on his feet and rubs his eyes with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. What was wrong. He came down here but he couldn't remember why he was down here. He sees the book on top of the chest in his room and goes for it. He doesn't know what tells him to grab it and hold close but it gives him a bit of comfort. He opens the chest and pulls out a red and white jacket. It felt like home. Sitting on the bed, he thinks, was it always red? 

**_Tales of T̸̑̅ơ̶̒m̵͗͊m̶̊̍ÿ̵̛́i̸̅͘n̸͋͝n̵͠i̴̓t̶̿̚_ **

**Author's Note:**

> These are just for those stories I decide to write out on discord! If anyone inspire me in the comments I might do an additional part! :)


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